Finding Yourself by Oscaline Usanase.
Growing up I knew that I had to study so hard and pursue a good job in the future. Being raised in a community that valued and empowered sciences, I wasn’t any exception to meet their expectations. I went to great science schools and poured my energy in it. I spent days and nights reading class materials, I went for extra assistance where I needed help, and academic excellence became my reward. To mention a few, after my primary graduation, I was awarded by the first lady on a national level as one of the best girls performers. I started investing in my academics from a younger age, and I saw excellence as well. Continuing my studies, I kept on excelling, but if you could have asked me who I wanted to be in my high school years, I would not have been able to give you a vivid answer. But I think I would probably tell you that I will be someone great in the future, that I will pursue a great career and be someone great. Yes, all I knew was that I was heading in the right direction and that I was going to be someone great. There is nothing wrong with that, but if you look back, the person I wanted to be was vague, I lacked FOCUS in who I envisioned to be. Well, am not saying that studying hard and investing in your academics is bad, what am saying is “do you really know who you want to be? Do you really know what you want to do with your life in the future? Are you investing in that very person today with how you are living your life?”
Something that came to my realization is that I was going with the flow. I did not know where I was heading, I just followed the lead of the society. I did not know where the flow would take me and when it will take me to where I needed to be. I was just confused. It is like stepping in a ship without knowing where it is heading, how long it is going to take you to reach there and even you don’t know if it is going where you long to be. But because everyone is going there, you then decide to join the crowd. That is how vague my life looked like back then. Time came when I was tired and exhausted of losing myself to the flow which was not leading me to a specific person I desired to be. It is like I have been excelling all my school years but still I could not be able to know who I really wanted to be. However, inside of me I knew I had something running so dry because I was not watering it; I was not fueling it. I have had buried it in a dry soil, I had abandoned it, and now after my exhaustion I was trying to find the fruits of the seed I have abandoned. Time came that I had to find out where I buried my seed, and replant it again, water it, nourish it and expect to enjoy its fruits. After a three year journey of finding my purpose, I finally found it and am living in it now as I grow to be the better version I could ever be. Now I know that I do not invest my whole self in the flow of anyone, but in the direction of the very person I envision to be.
Some of you might relate to me, you might have grown up vaguely knowing who you want to be, or went with the flow of others, and that is okay. But you do not have to be okay with the flow, now is the time for you to find your seed; time to find who you long to be. If you missed a chance in the past to know who you desired to be and to invest in that person, do not feel like it is impossible to start now. I spent most of my school years before college without knowing who specifically I was created to be; the person I envisioned to be. But it was a matter of the time I made a concrete decision to start that I began to take small steps which made up a journey of self-discovery. I challenge you today to be the turning point of your life. Take some time today to invest in yourself, know what you do best, your strengths, who you envision to be, and how you want to get there. After finding your seed, you will then plant it in a good soil, water it day and night, and invest in it to your best abilities. Start now and break the chains holding you back from being the very person you envision to be. Set a goal, keep your focus on it, start with small steps and do not give yourself any excuse. Start Today, You Can Do It!